The future of the American Jewish community is at the center of current academic debates. With looming doubt, social scientists of American Jewry, are noticing a steady decline occurring in both the quality and quantity of American life and the American Jewish community (Waxman 71). I was born and raised in a Jewish home, one that was founded on the ideals and traditions of our ancestors. Growing up with such a strong religious identity has made me a more conscious observer of the world around me. I have seen my community shift and mold to adapt to the changing times, and I see the need for an increased effort to work against the trend of a slipping Jewish American community. “With the emancipation of European Jewry in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, and the growing integration of Jews into gentile societies, the prominence of synagogues and other Jewish institutions in the everyday lives of American Jews has declined” (Gaynor 175), and this has left behind an unengaged, unmotivated American Jewish community. By watering down Jewish identities with the American lifestyle, American Jews are losing sight of what it means to be Jewish and what it takes to stand by and protect that precious birthright. I argue that the increasing trend of intermarriage among American Jews in recent decades is the result of communal and individual disengagement; leading Jews away from the responsibility of maintaining their Jewish values and traditions.

          The issue of intermarriage for the Jewish American community is more relevant than it has ever been. As Cohen states, “the soaring intermarriage rates, rampant assimilation and diminishing population” among Jewish Americans has produced “anxiety about the Jewish future [that] has led to increased interest among scholars, communal leaders, and laypeople alike” (Cohen 1), who are in search of reasons for these increasing trends. Statistics don’t lie. Jewish intermarriage rates appear to have clearly risen in recent decades. Just within the non-Orthodox Jews who have gotten married since 2000, 28% have a Jewish spouse and fully 72% are intermarried (Smith). 72% is nearly three-fourths of the married Jewish population and a number that those concerned about the continuity of the Jewish culture and religion, can’t ignore. As scholars like Susan Katz Miller, intermarried mother of three, refuses to see intermarriage as the culprit behind declining Jewish identity and presence, I stand with strong beliefs that inter-faith marriages produce consequences for the Jewish community that are irreversible. Intermarriage has the power to strongly affect the next generation of Jewish adults, by significantly reducing numbers and active participation, and the discussion regarding the consequences must happen before Jewish Americans lose sight of their Jewish responsibility altogether.

          Why though, is intermarriage happening? I contend that the increasing intermarriage rate among Jewish Americans is the result of people prioritizing their American identities over their Jewish identities. As the Commission of Jewish Identity and Continuity so honestly reports, “the forces of modernization and the attractiveness of a welcoming host society…can combine to weaken the fabric of Jewish life, to dissipate the intensity of Jewish identity, and to loosen the bonds of Jewish community”(Wertheimer 51). This trickling-down effect of Americanization has the power to distract a person from their obligation to Judaism, of their personal and religious responsibility to marry within the Jewish faith. Intermarriage is the product of “the total assimilation and disappearance of large segments of the American Jewish population into the larger American society and culture”(Waxman 73). And to me, this trend makes perfect sense. As Jews have distanced themselves from their European roots and religious connection to Judaism (Gaynor 175), they have in turn become more connected to their American community and the melting pot of religions, cultures, and value systems that it offers. These bubbling American identities—like playing in a soccer game on Friday night when a family would normally be eating a Shabbat meal, or the Jewish family down the road that now has a Christmas tree and lights in their house to be “festive,”—are costing the Jewish community. This drift in priorities explains the waning cultural values that Jews once emphasized, like marrying within the religion, attending Jewish after-school programs, and living in a community that promotes Jewish engagement. As Jews continue to lose sight of their Jewish responsibility for the sake of the enticing American lifestyle, the thought of Jewish traditions and values withstanding the impact of more Americanization in the coming years, is thrown into a thick and tangled web of doubt.

          Intermarriage is a problem for the continuity of the Jewish American community because it encourages the distancing away from Jewish values. Though Miller argues that intermarriage allows children to “understand…two distinct traditions: the common ground, the important differences and the intertwined history” (Miller), I believe it leads to confusion and an unnecessary search for a religious identity which should be as simple as a birthright. This confusion regarding one’s religious identity can be seen in “the adult offspring of intermarriages [who] are also much more likely than people with two Jewish parents to describe themselves religiously as atheist, agnostic or just “nothing in particular.” This is the case among all recent generations of U.S. Jews”(Smith). Instead of intermarriages “turning out young adults who feel deeply connected to Judaism, not through coercion, but through choice”(Miller) like Miller believes, intermarriage is breeding generations of Jews and non-Jews who are uncertain of their religious beliefs and values. It would be such a virtue to eliminate religious confusion in the next generation, but intermarriage works against that idea. And Miller, a Jewish woman who has intermarried and had Jewish children as a result, is not blind to the fact that her children may not chose Judaism as their religious path. She acknowledges that they may “practice Judaism exclusively…or perhaps they will choose to be Christians or Buddhists or secular humanists who happen to have an unusual knowledge of and affinity for Judaism.” It is when she goes so far as to say that either way, the Jews benefit, is where I draw the line. Her kids and their possible religious path is the exact definition of intermarriage—ambiguous. One’s religion, one’s birthright, shouldn’t be ambiguous or confusing. If you are Jewish, you are Jewish, and there’s an obligation in that, that I find to be irrefutable.  Intermarriage distances Jews from their religion because intermarriage welcomes the ideas and principles of other religions, and that ultimately clutters what should be a one-track belief system.

          Supporters of intermarriage often argue that children who come into Judaism on their own may have a much more profound devotion to the faith (Miller). In other words, those who choose Judaism as their faith, often do so with more conviction. But with children coming from the product of a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother, the passion for Judaism is less of an issue compared to the complicated fact that those children, based on Orthodox Jewish Law, are not Jewish. These Orthodox ideals state that Jewish identity is passed on through the matrilineal descent and “that is a concept that has been universally accepted by Jews for 3,300 years. This concept did not come out of nowhere but was decided by God, as recorded in the Five Books of Moses in Deut. 7:3-4.” (aish.com) These texts claim that if a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman, that man is disregarding his Judaism for the sake of his marriage, producing children who are by definition, not Jewish. But if it’s love, it’s love, right? No actually, not quite. The detrimental effects of intermarriage, like a complete detachment due to a decline in numbers, only occur because of marriages that either showcase two religions to their children or strip these children of their Jewish identity altogether. Intermarriage advocates are likely to interject that it is not about the quantity of Jews but the quality of them invested in the future of Judaism, but as Tobin writes, “numbers are important for their own sake. Despite the outcries so common in Jewish institutional circles that quality, not quantity, matter, both are important” (Tobin 26).

          Coming from a strictly Jewish household with both parents born and raised Jewish, I was always built with the mentality of marrying someone within the Jewish religion. For me, the alternative of marrying someone not Jewish was never even an option. But for so many unengaged Jews, intermarriage is not only an option, but a conscious decision. “Sarah Coleman, an intermarried [woman], pointed out that “in forming partnerships with non-Jews, we intermarrieds are spreading Jewish values and culture into the population at large” (McGinity 197). And she is not wrong. Growing up in an interfaith household most definitely produces adults and children who are open to multiple religions, cultures and values. And yes, this is an important thing to be in this dynamic and turbulent world, but this debate isn’t about being a global citizen, it’s about the future continuity and presence of Judaism in America in twenty years time.  My question then, is whether or not the Jewish-Americans who chose to intermarry, understand the implications of that marriage? In other words, is this an issue with communal policy and Jewish community outreach? As Bayme writes, there “are appropriate Jewish communal responses and policies that will enable the community to deal with the current intermarriage crisis,” like a “multitrack and nuanced approach consisting of prevention, conversion, and continued outreach to the mixed-married” (Bayme 285). With support that caters to the varying individuals within the Jewish American community—ranging from the minimally engaged Jew who wanders into synagogue only on the day of repentance, to the devoted Orthodox Jew who spends all waking hours studying the ancient books—the implications of intermarriage that are seemingly forgotten, can be reinforced and hopefully create a positive momentum that pushes against the current trend. It is my fear that a lack of community engagement, even to those Jews on the periphery, is the catalyst behind intermarriage; leading Jews astray to find someone for love, rather than choosing a life partner based on all things considered.

          As much as Judaism encourages individual journeys and varying levels of observance, there is still an existing level of responsibility that comes along with the Jewish birthright. If every Jew in the world did their own thing, paying no mind to the thousands of years of tradition and Torah law that came before them, then the Jewish people would not have the presence that they have today in the modern world. In 2012, over 13.7 million Jews were accounted for (DellaPergola). This number, though small compared to the Christian and Muslim majorities, would be much smaller if there wasn’t such an emphasis on in-marriage, which is, in my opinion, one of the most important Jewish ideals. Marrying within the Jewish faith is so crucial because it ensures that another generation can experience Judaism and allow it to grow and prosper.

          In my own life, as the product of two Jewish parents, I have found so much comfort and ease knowing where I come from and what religion I believe in. This is not to say I have never questioned my religion and beliefs. Of course I have. There were years were I denied the existence of G-d and stumbled every time I tried to connect to my surrounding Jewish community, but at the end of the day, I knew I was a Jew and I knew I had an obligation to fulfill. A person describing their views of Jewish obligation and Jewish meaning while living in America said, “The most important thing a Jew should do as a Jew… is to pursue a Jewish journey…not to ignore Judaism or to give up on it…to be open to it” (Cohen 12).  This positive and encouraging pursuit towards ones religion has the power to diminish all fear that in a few generations time, there will be no such thing as a Jewish American community. It is up to the individual and the surrounding community to emphasize Jewish values and ideals, and to occasionally set aside one’s American identity in order to nurture their religious self.

          With intermarriage at the all-time high that it is, how do we go about fixing what has already been done? How do we accept the fact that Jews will continue to intermarry, welcoming their American identities alongside or instead of, their Jewish identities? The answer is revamped engagement. By placing Jewish American kids in environments where Jewish learning and values are encouraged, we are allowing these children to see for themselves, the benefits of a Jewish life, both in the cultural and religious sense. Facts indicate that “20 percent of Jews aged 25-44 with six or more years of [Jewish] day-school education have intermarried. In contrast, 70 percent of those with no Jewish education at all have married outside of the faith” (Bayme 286). This statistic illustrates the importance of a proper Jewish education, because knowledge of one’s heritage clearly affects whether or not a person ultimately chooses to stand by their religion when it comes time to decide whom to marry. If we continue to feed into American society and encourage a solely American education and identity, then the threat of intermarriage will continue to creep up on the American Jewish population.

          An alternative push to help detached Jews reconnect with their Jewish selves and Jewish community at large would be to continue to encourage young Jewish adults to go on Birthright trips to Israel. Birthright provides Jewish kids with their first trip to Israel, one that engages its participants from a spiritual, religious and cultural standpoint, without any bias to the fact that most “participants came to Israel not knowing the words of the national anthem” (Saxe, 174). With informal classes that discuss hot topics like intermarriage, Birthright is an important opportunity for the Jewish community to engage those who would otherwise be uninterested in their Jewish roots. In my own personal experiences, I found birthright to be an incredible reminder that Judaism is far bigger than any one person, but the sum total of thousands of years of history and the undying devotion to tradition. To promote Birthright trips at a better rate would only serve the American Jewish community well, creating more young Jews who are engaged and informed about their heritage and empowered to do more for their community.

          Another way to keep intermarriage rates where they are presently and ultimately decrease them, is to focus on reaching out to the couples that have already intermarried. If the couple is composed of a Jewish mother and a non-Jewish father, the children of that couple will still have the opportunity to live fully Jewish lives. But is there something to be gained by working with those who are already outside of the mold of the Jewish community (Bayme 289)? Absolutely. There is no point in reaching out to those who are completely turned away from incorporating Jewish ideals into their lives, but for those willing to take on Judaism, there should be outreach from within the American Jewish community. Intermarriage has resulted from a person’s disconnect with their Jewish identity and it must be our goal, the Jews still invested in a growing and prosperous future, to nurture that gap and reconnect those that have lost sight of the importance of their religion. As Bayme states, “it is precisely because we have continued to maintain the Jewish communal preference for inmarriage that intermarriage rates have not risen even further” (Bayme 285). As long as we continue to promote all that Judaism has to offer from within the community, through increased community engagement and awareness of the impact that intermarriage has on the Jewish American community at large, then hope most certainly exists.

          I realized the significance of the implications of intermarriage on the future of the Jewish religion when I was on my Birthright trip to Israel with fellow University of Michigan students. On one of the first days of the trip, we were wandering through the town of Sfat, one of the four holiest cities in the world. I remember exploring the ancient city with my four friends when a man on the side of the road stopped us in our tracks. This man, an orthodox Jew, turned to us and said, “Excuse me, girls. May I ask…are you Jewish?” To which we all replied, “Yes” in unison. He then said, “I ask nothing of you but one thing. One thing that you must promise me you will never forget.” At this point, he had all of our attention and a bit of our curiosity and worry. As we starred at this stranger with wide-eyes and confusion, having no idea what he was about to say, he muttered, “Please, for the sake of this holy religion, for the continuity of God’s will and the future of the Jewish people, please, please, please, marry a Jewish man.” My parents had always told me the same thing, but the way in which this man’s voice begged, has always stuck with me. His words were filled with such sadness but so much hope at the same time. His words were profound because he wasn’t speaking for himself. In fact, he was speaking for something much greater than any one individual. He was speaking on behalf of the future of the Jewish people, on behalf of Jewish continuity.

 

 

Works Cited

 

Bayme, Stephen. "Intermarriage and Communal Policy: Prevention, Conversion, and                    Outreach." The Jewish Family and Jewish Continuity (1994): 285-293.

 

Cohen, Steven M. and Arnold Eisen. The Jew Within: Self, Family, and Community in America. Bloomington: Indiana U. Press, 2000.

 

DellaPergola, Sergio. "World Jewish Population, 2012." The American Jewish Year Book (2012): 212-283.

 

Gaynor, Adam R. "Beyond The Melting Pot: Finding a Voice for Jewish Identity in Multicultural American Schools." Journal of Jewish Communal Service 86.1/2 (2011): 174-183.

 

McGinity, Keren R. Still Jewish: A History of Women and Intermarriage in America. New York: New York University Press, 2009.

 

Miller, Susan Katz. Being 'Partly Jewish'. 31 October 2013. 4 November 2013 <http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/01/opinion/being-partly-jewish.html?hp&rref=opinion&_r=0>.

 

Saxe, Leonard and Barry I. Chazan. Ten Days of Birthright Israel: A Journey in Young Adult Identity. Waltham: Brandeis University Press, 2008.

 

Smith, Greg and Alan Cooperman. What Happens When Jews Intermarry? 12 November 2013. 20 November 2013 <http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/11/12/what-happens-when-jews-intermarry/>.

 

Tobin, Diane. In Every Tongue: The Racial and Ethnic Diversity of the Jewish People. San Francisco: Institute for Jewish and Community Research, 2005.

 

Waxman, Chaim. "Is the Cup Half-Full or Half-Empty?: Perspectives on the Future of the American Jewish Community." American Pluralism and the Jewish Community (1990): 71-85.

 

Wertheimer, Jack, Charles Liebman and Steven M. Cohen. "How To Save American Jews." Commentary (1996): 47-51.

 

Who is a Jew? 13 December 2013 <http://www.aish.com/atr/Who_is_a_Jew.html>.